No-octane filler.

As I've already said, with reserved time blocks for media consumption occurring almost every afternoon, I find myself gâté: I can afford to sift through some of the second-and third-tier stuff I wouldn't otherwise bother with. Although occasionally rewarding, more often than not I find myself cutting out of crappy movies halfway through.

Somewhere a production team assembled a flip-book made from still photographs documenting the end result of a pack of simians encouraged to doodle in piles of their own feces. After thumbing through said flip-book, it was agreed that surely something so intellectually rigorous was too demanding for the average North American moviegoer and couldn't we possibly dumb it down a shade? Enter Crank.

I think I dozed off midway through Underworld: Evolution: all I remember is black pleather, ridiculous gunplay and snow-covered forests. If you enjoyed the original movie, rent it again instead of watching the inane, yawn-inducing sequel.